Breaking Tradition

Not Your Mother's Wedding

8 Traditions That Are No Longer Traditional...

Something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue! Not many couples follow that tradition anymore, but did you know that there are several traditions that your mother had at her wedding that are no longer expected? Read more to find out how to make your wedding your own.

1. Guest Favors

In lieu of favors let guests know that you donated to a charity in their name. It is a great gesture and you can support a cause close to your heart. Print a small sign and place it in a nice frame on each guest table, or add the information to the menu with a small "thanks for being here" message. Click here for some great suggestions on verbiage. 

If you still want to provide a thank you for your guests, but don't want to spend money on a favor they may or may not use, provide a candy bar. No, I don't mean a Hershey bar. I am referring to a table full of your favorite sweet treats that they can nibble on throughout the night or take home for later. I have never seen a candy bar that has not been cleared out by the end of the night and your guests literally feel like a kid in a candy store!

Time Into Pixels Photography

Time Into Pixels Photography

2. Unity Candle

The Unity Candle is said to have been introduced to the wedding ceremony around the 1970's (much later than I thought). It's a beautiful symbol of the joining families when parents (usually mothers) light the taper candles and the bride & groom light the unity candle, but maybe that's not for you. I have seen many unique unity ceremonies in the last few years, so feel free to put your own spin on it that fits you and your future spouse. Maybe you have a green thumb! Try a tree potting ceremony where the mothers provide the soil and the couple waters the tree. It is symbolic of growing in love, nurturing your relationship, and building your family tree. You can plant it in the yard of your first home together and watch it grow as your love grows (awww). The unity ceremony doesn't have to be about the joining of families. It can also be about just the joining of the couple. If you and your future spouse are wine lovers try a wine ceremony! Put a bottle of wine from the year you are married in a box. This is to be shared on a specific anniversary of your choice. Add your vows, a special letter for each other to be read on that anniversary, or put your own spin on it!

Emily Barrera Photography (Left), Bellagala (right)

Emily Barrera Photography (Left), Bellagala (right)

3. Having Your Father Walk You Down The Aisle

One of my favorite parts of working a wedding is seeing the father and daughter have their "moment" before he walks her down the aisle. The mixture of joy, pride, and realization that this moment is really happening is a beautiful thing I am privileged to see. But did you know you are not limited to just your father? It's OK to invite mom to join you. Maybe you're really close to your grandmother or aunt. Maybe you want to walk down alone. There are no rules! Chose those who are closest to you to share that special moment. I would suggest no more than two people though because things can get crowded down the aisle!

Time Into Pixels Photography

Time Into Pixels Photography

4. The White Dress

I am sure you have seen the latest trend of non-white wedding dresses. There are so many options nowadays for wedding fashion, you can really get away with anything on your special day, so have fun with it! If you've been dreaming of that white Cinderella dress since you were a little girl, go for it! If you're a bold personality try a bright color like romantic red or a printed gown. Even go super elegant in black like Sophie Cachia. She created quite the waves in bridal fashion recently, but for her it was all about wanting to feel like herself. See pictures of her stunning custom gown and read her Daily Mail story here. When it comes to saying yes to the dress just make sure you feel like the best version of you and that will shine through.

5. The Wedding March

The Wedding March (Here Comes The Bride) is the most popular processional song for brides with Pachelbel's Cannon in D running a close second. These are beautiful songs and it is no surprise that they are very common, but feel free to think outside of the box! If there is a song that is really important to you as a couple try and find an instrumental version, or have a quartet play a pop song on strings or piano. The song doesn't have to be instrumental either. If the song lyrics seem to fit the occasion go for it!  I have seen several brides process to movie soundtracks (even Star Wars). Make it your own!

6. Registering for Bed Sheets and Towels

Back in the 1950's people were getting married right out of high school and so they would register for mostly home goods and things to start their family. The average couple in 2016 gets married in their mid 20's and Is mostly set for their first place together. Really we should register for the crock pot and mixer after college graduation, but that's another blog, ha. Maybe you want to upgrade from your grandma's hand me down china or get that really fancy  comforter set, but don't feel like you have to limit your registry to things for the home. You can register for that new tent if you're a nature lover, or maybe a couples cooking class. There are several online options like Zola  that let you register for experiences and allows people to contribute as a group. Why not have your guests take care of your honeymoon expenses?! At  Honeyfund you can set up categories for people to contribute to. Some examples are: a nice dinner, airfare, zip-lining experience, hotel accommodations, etc.

 7. Cake for Dessert

You may notice people are getting creative with their desserts at weddings. I have seen donuts, cookie bars, pies, apple crisp, build your own s'mores and more! It's often a great way to cut down on those little costs that add up because catering doesn't have to cut and serve your cake, which sometimes can be charged per slice. Guests are always impressed with your creativity and no one is mad when gourmet donuts are on the menu! 

Eric Lundgren Photography

Eric Lundgren Photography

8. RSVP Cards

We live in a digital age and the wedding industry has made it really easy for guests to RSVP to your wedding by doing so at your personal website. On your invitations save money by not ordering RSVP cards and adding a link to your website instead. It saves on postage and printing and let's be honest we spend more than 8 hours a day connected to our computers and phones. People are much more likely to RSVP in a timely matter online than they are to make a trip to the post office for snail mail. Grandparents and other elders might like to receive RSVP cards, so keep that in mind and only order what you need. Visit the links below for more information on free wedding websites:

The Knot Free Personalized Wedding Website 

Minted Wedding Websites - FREE with many stationery purchases

At the end of the day your wedding is about you and your future spouse. If you love these traditions you should definitely include them in your special day, but if they are not your style don't feel like you have to "follow the rules". Make your day your own, showcase your unique personality and relationship, and have fun with it!

Happy Planning!

XOXO - Tamara