My Story | Part Three | Infertility

The Doctor tells me I’m officially considered to be struggling with infertility, she also tells me, I might have Endometriosis, and that could be the reason for my infertility, but it could also be other things.

I remember going home the day of this Doctor appointment, and I was a complete puddle of emotions. The next day it was hitting me even harder. I remember having the following thoughts…

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“If I had just tried to get pregnant at 25, that would have been four fewer years for Endo to grow and worsen, and maybe, just maybe I could have gotten pregnant.”

“If I would not have stayed on birth control for 11 years, maybe I wouldn’t be infertile.”

“If I can’t get pregnant, will I be ok with that, will my Husband be ok with that, what will we do?”

This is where the anxiety and depression started to set in, and it hit hard for several weeks, and it stayed around for the months to come.

1 in 8 Couples Struggle with Infertility

Following my July appointment, I had several doctor and lab appointments to follow, most of which were not enjoyable, and to be honest quite painful at times.

Labs, blood work, ultrasound… the whole works.

The result? My hormones are jacked up; I’m probably not ovulating.

The questions, is it because of Endo?

The answer to that will not come until months after I recover from my Laparoscopic surgery.

Now I am just playing a waiting game; if I have Endo, it could mean I will never be fertile. If I don’t have Endo, then I have to go back to the drawing board and figure out why I am not fertile.

If I do have Endo and all disease-ridden tissue is removed, I still only have a 50% chance of my fertility coming back.

In the weeks waiting for my October 10th surgery, these are all of the thoughts running through my head.

It’s a mess; I am a mess.

A word to the wise

Stop asking Women if they want to have Children.

Stop asking Women when they will have Children.

Stop asking couples if/when they will have Children.

Stop assuming anyone wants Children.

Stop assuming they haven’t tried to have Children.

Stop complaining about your unwanted pregnancy.

Stop complaining about your child.

Stop telling us “it will happen for you” and “your time will come.”

Stop assuming just because we are not drinking alcohol that we may be pregnant.

Stop telling us to “just adopt” like really, can I borrow $35,000?


For some couples pregnancy happens to them, they have not had to try. If you don’t know what acronyms like FSH, CD1, BFP, BFN even mean, then please do not assert your opinions on how to get pregnant to the 1 in 8 couples who have difficulty or may not ever conceive.


Jess Wonders

* Remember you truly never know what someone is going through, lead with kindness, always.

Jessica Wonders